Happy Seasons

by Patrick Canning

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1.
03:40
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2.
03:39
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3.
04:19
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4.
03:45
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about

Every year I write and record a Christmas song and then film and edit a video in just the two days before I leave for holidays. They are usually completely amoral. There are only four songs so far but if I remain living long enough there will be more. Merry Christmas.

credits

released 21 December 2009
Patrick Canning - Voice, words, Music, Guitar, Bass, Drums, Glockenspiel, other..
Alison Corbett - Violin (2009)
Justin Mahoney - Bass and Mandolin (2011)
Bill Mahoney - Electric Guitar (2011)
Victor Lewis - Trombone (2009)
Michelle Swab - Accordion, Vocals (2011)

tags

tags: alternative christmas kwistmas amoral depressing holiday music psychedelic rock sardonic singer-songwriter Kingston

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about

A difficult bag of chips to open. A man with silver ear drums who sees into scents of the spheres. A soft hearted vial of anthrax. A tube of blister cream and a hot needle. A guy with 15 albums and a movie.

discography

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Track Name: Black Peter and his friend Saint Nick (2012)
F C
Little Bruno Muller Schmid burned his sisters hair
and also stole his brother’s toys
and broke the baby’s chair
because he did not beware
Bb Bbm F Fm C Cm
of who was coming up the stairs...

Little Ingrid Eder Haas drowned her father’s goat
and carved a Nazi swastika into her uncles boat
but she had no time to gloat
Bb Bbm F Fm C Cm E C Cm E
because sailing across the moat..

C G
Black Peter and his friend Saint Nick
C F
came sailing into town
C G Am F
and quickly rounded up the horrid children
C G
they stuffed them into boxes filled with
C F
Scorpions and snakes
C G Am F
they guzzled eggnog while the muffled screaming filled the air

They broke in through their windows
They grabbed them from their beds
They tied them up with ropes and chains and gagged their sinful heads
They took all of their toys and games
and threw them in the fire
the fire made from gasoline and little thieves and liars
The people of the town all cheered
while smoke filled up the sky
they’d got their presents earlier, the smoke had made them high
then on the backs of ravens wings
they flew into the air
good ol’ pete and nicholas can end up anywhere
Track Name: Merry Christmas {I'm Leaving You Tonight} (2011)
I’ve packed my bags and I’m leaving you tonight
Merry Christmas
I’ve grabbed the nearest train out of town
Merry Christmas
I’m never going to call you
You won’t know where I am
I’m taking both the kids and the car
Merry Christmas

I’ve cleaned out all the money in the bank
Merry Christmas
I’ve maxed out all your credit cards
Merry Christmas
I called up all your family
And told them you’re on drugs
I told them you beat the kids twice a day

I’ve hacked into your facebook
I posted the pictures from Amsterdam
I got you fired from your daycare center job

I’ve pawned off all your jewelry
I’ve scratched all your cd’s
Flushed all your prescriptions down the drain

I put poison in your fish tank
Spread some rumors you had STDs
Kicked your dog and set your house ablaze
Merry Christmas
Track Name: On Christmas Day The World Ended (2009)
On Christmas day my wife gave birth to snakes On Christmas day she gave birth to serpents
The crows fell from the sky and all the children lost an eye on Christmas day the world was ending
The angels in heaven burned themselves alive on Christmas day on Christmas day they slit their throats open
The air grew thick with arterial spray on Christmas day and I was blinded by lust

And then the bells chime out
Hallelujah
And then the choirs sing
Go fuck yourselves

The sound of footsteps on the roof told me the truth at last the time had come for Santa's blood
The gleaming in his eye and in his mouth a festering mountain of sores vile discoloured and awful
And Santa's penis his red curly penis sparkled like comets exploding in fire destroying villages and towns
And as he reached deep in his sac the room was filled with unspeakably horrible sounds of screaming on Christmas day
Track Name: Everyone Cries at Christmas (2008)
I sat watching all the children cry
This disappointing christmas
Your face it bloomed with mustard coloured sores
This wretched christmas
Everyone cries at christmas
Chasing children through the filthy bushes
Their shoes lost in the snow banks
I threw their suppers to the hunting dogs
To teach the how to give thanks
Everyone cries at christmas
Everyone cries at christmas
(where's my money?)
Throwing bleach into the pony's eyes
I thought I taught you better
All you're getting from Santa Claus
Is some blood stains on your sweater
Because everyone dies at christmas
Everyone dies at christmas